The following is a work of satire:

As with so many artifacts of American culture, the song “Sleigh Ride” which harkens back to a simpler time and supposed Christmas joy is in fact highly offensive and must be banned immediately. The song invokes the use of horse labor in the sleigh ride. Do these horses volunteer for this work? Even worse, the sound or a whip can be heard at times which means the song is obviously pro-animal abuse. Furthermore, this sound may conjure up images of slavery and needlessly trigger so many of the immature, delicate psyches of this country. Why, Karen Garebuls of the Democratic Society to Cleanse American Culture has called Sleigh Ride “animal phobic, abusive, potentially racist and altogether highly offensive. There is no place in our America for such harmful music.” We have already been successful in stigmatizing “Baby It’s Cold Outside” as being supportive of date-rape, though sadly the song has not disappeared yet. There is still much work to be done, social-justice warriors, so get to it!

Merry Christmas